I wonder if there's anyone who doesn't doubt themselves- seriously.
I made a choice to ask someone to leave my life months ago, and, even though everything that's happened since tells me that it was the right choice, a part of me still questions it. A lot of me is shocked that my best friend would rather leave to go live elsewhere than to get his crap together and remain a part of my life. Then there was him running back to his old ways despite the promise he made that he was different, and never wanted those people in his life again. I suppose it's for the best, but it's still a serious trip sometimes realizing that he could give up so easily when we'd become so close.
And now I'm staring down the barrel of some of the biggest changes of my life, and there's so much "new" it's startling- and so many people who I'd expected to be there through anything have proven that was never the case.
C is gone, S is gone, several people who I felt more obligated to than safe with have had to be asked to leave my life... This is a brand new start, but who knew brand new had to wipe out so much old?
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