I just want to run and never come back.
I want to give away, sell or leave every single thing I own, pack up my Jeep, and go.
I don't know where. I don't have a home, I don't have family, I don't have anything or anyone.
I just don't want to be sitting in this house, in this miserable town, feeling like I'm just waiting on an inevitable death anymore.
No matter how hard I work to stay out late, keep myself around people, stay busy, stay distracted, I always end up coming back to this house, alone, quiet, submerged completely in the misery in my mind... I don't want to do it anymore, and running seems better than going back to the 'just give it up and die already' mentality.
Maybe it isn't.
But maybe it is.
I want to run to that little house in Louisiana where I had a good time, felt safe, even though I could never forgive the man that lived there for what he's done since. I want to find a small house in the country or a small, small town, and move in- somewhere they don't know me, where I won't run into any exes, or wonder if an ex will show up to rescue me from the pain, or if anyone even wants me there.
No, let's be honest, I want a damn Norah Roberts novel- the girl from out of town that moves into a small, pretty town with the intent of making a fresh start after a severely broken heart, and winds up meeting the man of her dreams and falling in love and happily ever after.
This place will never be home.
I would rather live out of my Jeep than continue to live here.
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