PTSD Means

So, last night was really, really bad for me.
I have tried very hard to take care of the people in my family, but I'm to the point that I think it may be time to accept the fact that blood and family simply are not the same thing.
I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I wouldn't think I'd need to explain this to most people, but showing up, unannounced, to the home of someone with this sort of scar, particularly after dark, is, well A BAD IDEA.
I have weapons in my home. I won't go into detail, but a weapon is a weapon, and a black out is a black out, and the two combined are very, very, VERY dangerous.
Don't show up to the house of someone with PTSD unannounced, with a bad attitude, stick your foot in their door, demand to come in or otherwise be an idiot. It will be a miracle if you walk away breathing, let alone with all your limbs in tact.
A miracle occurred on my front porch last night.
And miracles are pretty much once-in-a-lifetime, don't you think?
Little Mama is pretty much the most undependable person I've ever spoken to, and I have backed way off with her. She blew off our plans without comment the second night we'd made them (she slept for four hours and didn't bother to get back to me until twenty minutes before I was to pick her up the first night- I'd already made other plans by then) and today she emailed me telling me her phone is broken, and apologizing for not texting me the last couple days. NEXT!
Baby Boy is back out in the field and we haven't gotten to spend time together, though I'm far more confident about her as a person than I'd expected to be. She's young, but she's intelligent and honest and, really, that's more important to me than a lot of other things.
I'm really not stressing getting into a relationship, and, as what I can only hope are my hormones are making me weepy and incredibly mushy and inconsistent the last few days (I cried at the wedding scene on The Big Bang Theory for hell's sake.... Shit just ain't right!) it's probably for the best.
I am, however, isolating a bit to avoid further confrontation with people of blood relation and those I actually want to spend time with right now...